20 Things I learned from Hollywood

  1. My idea of spiritual and some others are about a straightjacket away
  2. Never make someone a priority when all you are is an option to them. (Maya Angelou)
  3. The first question someone will ask you is what part of town you live in. The second will be what are you working on. Try to answer both as humorously as possible to see how quickly you can get them to walk away. If they stay, then that’s someone worth talking to.
  4. Being hired as a psychic on television can be as close to acting as it gets, especially after they edit you. I recently declined a gig because I was told what they wanted my performance to look like. I said I would happily be hired as an actress instead of an expert as long as it was listed as such.
  5. Fans are not friends, but may be more loyal than friends. Pay more attention to having the right friends because you will not always have fans. Hollywood teaches you what goes up must come down. I’d rather have one hand to wipe my tears, then a million claps to celebrate my victory.
  6. Nothing is more of a snooze than a fame junkie. The most interesting actors are the ones who rarely speak about their work. They are often the bigger names I have known because they always have a life and thoughts outside the industry. They aren’t afraid to put their family first and aren’t afraid to be regular. It’s like Johnny Depp said, “I try to avoid fame as much as possible.”
  7. Some of the most famous people I have known are the loneliest
  8. It is absolutely stale and electric at the same time. It can feed your soul and starve it on the same day.
  9. Your own best friend will kick you off the red carpet.
  10. Integrity is someone you may spend a lot of alone time with
  11. Just because someone is a genius doesn’t mean they aren’t a pedophile
  12. If you speak the truth, expect everyone to agree with you but never behind your back
  13. It’s the one town if your husband works and you don’t that you can be repeatedly in the press for absolutely nothing. But if it’s the other way around, most people would never know who he is
  14. Aging feels like getting an early invite to your own funeral. Botox makes you look like a strange animal that was stung by a hundred bees. Tucking your face back can make you look like you’re surprised you’re almost dead.
  15. People view dating like it’s a lease they can trade in when they ride you for enough miles. They just get a newer younger model. It’s the Peter Pan capital of the world. All the boys have their magic wands out and they think every girl may be their Wendy.
  16. If you try to dive deep in a shallow pool, you will break your neck. As I once cried when my friend changed with fame, her ex smacked me with a truth stick. He told me, “That’s what you get for trying to have a deep connection with a prom queen.”
  17. People will hold out for years to sell their idea for a million dollars. But they will sell their soul in five minutes to get on a show like The Jersey Shore.
  18. If you hang around long enough, you will meet some of the hardest working, thought provoking, philanthropic, most creative beings alive. They will be far and few between, but they will make every second of the BS worth it. It’s like a long journey to find divine nectar in the desert. Only the brave and stubborn survive.
  19. Being on set is like lighting your hair on fire and loving every single second of it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. In fact, I would hand you the match. Yes, all actors exist one split end away from crazy. We know we could never exist elsewhere to express our thousands of fractured parts and get paid and congratulated for it.
  20. You can develop self-mastery in a vain society more easily than you can in the Himalayas by yourself. You can learn how to look inward for your self-value and not at the number of your twitter followers. The rejection can be brutal but it’s the most awesome and relentless teacher of self-love. In Hollywood, you either lose your soul or you find it.
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